


New Squad-mate, Who Dis?

by ZirconiumDragon



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, Finral just wants to be the Supreme Senpai™, Gen, If Finral were to wake up and learn about Zora when the city wasn't under attack, Minor Spoilers for up until Henry, Not Canon Compliant, The Sane Squad gains a new member, Zora is a troll, please don't take this too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZirconiumDragon/pseuds/ZirconiumDragon
Summary: Finral wakes up to find that his squad suddenly has a new member.
Relationships: Finral Roulacase & Asta, Finral Roulacase & Zora Ideale, Zora Ideale & Asta
Comments: 9
Kudos: 106





	New Squad-mate, Who Dis?

**Author's Note:**

> *Senpai means one’s senior. The reverse is kouhai, meaning one’s junior. Whether your someone’s kouhai or senpai is flexible, since it’s determined by age and experience.
> 
> One day, the author is going to release the order in which all the Black Bulls became squad-members, or we find out that—Surprise!—the Black Bulls do have a Vice-Captain, and they’ve just been on a super-secret mission this whole time, and this fic will cease to have any meaning but until then…

There was a red-haired man talking to Asta in the common room. Wearing a black cloak. The Black Bull’s black cloak. The Black Bull’s black cloak that was worn specifically by members of their squad. And Finral didn’t recognize him??? Like at all??? 

So excuse him when what first slipped out was—

“Who the fuck are you?”

Yeah, not his greatest moment. 

The red-haired man turned to look at him, a sardonic tilt to his brows that struck a chord of familiarity in Finral. That and the fucking black muzzle he was wearing. It was that cocky, little trap-magic trickster Asta had been paired up with for the Royal Knight’s Test. The information, if anything, made him even more confused. Hadn’t he been a member of the Purple Orca’s???

Instead of answering, the man crossed his arms and looked Finral over, from the tips of his newly dyed hair to the bottom of his very cute, custom-made leather boots. He snorted and turned back to Asta without so much as a word. 

_E-Excuse you? I don’t know who you are, or why Yami felt the need to take in yet another stray when we already have our hands full, but I AM Your Senpai. Fucking respect the seniority, damnit._

“Hey Asta,” Finral said, plastering a smile on his face. “Who’s your friend?” 

Asta—beautiful, precious senpai-respecting Asta—looked between him and the man, obviously confused by the tension in the air, but replied nonetheless. “This is Zora. He went by Xerx before though? But his magic is super cool and look!” He gestured excitedly to the black cloak. The blasted black cloak. “He’s a member of our squad now!”

“Yes, so I noticed. When did that happen per chance?”

Asta shrugged. “I don’t know. When _did_ you join the squad, Zora?”

Zora looked over at Finral with languid, half-lidded eyes, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “Oh, ages ago. Years really. I’ve quite forgotten I’m afraid.” He looked over Finral and Asta. “In any case, I’m definitely the oldest one here out of all of us. Does that make me your senpai?”

Excuse you. _He_ was trying to claim seniority over _Finral_? Fuck that shit. Finral refused to accept it. He hadn’t put the blood, sweat, tears, sleepless hours and thousands of papercuts that Finral had into this squad. Like hell he was going to give it up without a fight. 

There was only one way to resolve this. If Zora wouldn’t give a date, then he’d just have to go to Yami. 

* * *

“Huh? Who’d the hell remember a thing that? I’ve got no clue. A while ago. He’d been some punk ass brat in an alley.” 

“Okay, but like was this before or after I joined the squad?”

Yami shrugged. “Heck if I know. You guys just all kind of blur together to be honest.”

_Goddammit, Yami! Why do you always have to BE. SO. UNRELIABLE?_

The man chuckled at Finral’s obvious disappointment and ruffled his hair, ruining the carefully, coiffed style that had taken Finral a good fifteen minutes to perfect. “What’s it matter anyway?” he said. “Regardless of when you each joined, you’re both part of the same squad now.”

Finral rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Trying to explain the senpai thing to Yami would only embarrass him. After all, it wasn’t like Finral was the Vice-Captain or anything. He didn’t have any real claim to authority, so it really shouldn’t matter to him.

It shouldn’t.

(It did.)

* * *

It happened about a couple days later that Finral, noticing the slump Asta seemed to have fallen into, offered to teleport him back to the village of Hage for a brief call home. Asta had cheerfully accepted. And yet when he returned, who was the first one he called for? Zora! 

The other man had looked up lazily from the common room couch where he was watching Luck and Magna play some weird hand game which seemed to be centered around whether or not Magna could pull his hands off the table before Luck could zap them with electricity. As they stepped into the room, there was a sharp _bzzz_ followed by a yelp and the sound of Luck’s giggles. 

Asta—too battle-seasoned now for even their antics—completely ignored them as he pranced over to Zora and shoved a basket of dirt-smudged, freshly-picked vegetables in his face. “Zora-senpai! Look at what Sister Lily gave me! There’s tatoes, daikon, carrots… Isn’t it amazing?”

Zora, who’d reeled backwards bemusedly at the basket being shoved in his face, smiled and ruffled the kid’s hair. “Yeah, pretty cool kid,” he said. “Bet you could make a nice vegetable roast with some of that.” Asta preened under the attention and began exchanging tatoe recipes, while Finral felt his role as Supreme Senpai™ slip further and further away.

* * *

The next couple days marked a vicious battle over the senpai-ing of Asta—a battle in which only one of the participants knew they were at war. The struggle covered all sorts of topics, including training advice—

“Oi, squirt, what kind of strategy do you call that? I could see every move you were making from a mile away,” Zora said, leaning over the boy as he laid sprawled across the grass after Zora had dodged his punch and flipped him over his shoulder.

Asta shot to his feet and saluted exaggeratedly. “Yes sir, Zora-senpai!”

Finral swooped in, armed with a tray of drinks. “Ah, look at the two of you! Practicing hard, I see. Here, here. Have some lemonade. It’d be bad if one of you got dehydrated.” 

Asta took the glass happily and sent him a look with stars in his eyes. “Thanks Finral-senpai!” he said and began gulping it down.

Zora mopped his brow, wiping off some of the sweat there (Finral couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose. _Eurgh sweat._ ) and stared Finral down as he coolly lifted a glass off the tray and took a sip.

…Cooking tips were also given—

“Add some butter or seasoning first, idiot.” Zora groaned, shoving a saltshaker at Asta who’d been just about to shove the vegetables into the oven as was. “We want them to like the tatoes. Not choke on them.”

“Oh, okay! Uh… Is this good?”

“I mean…” Zora looked between the lightly dusted tatoes and the practically full saltshaker. “We got plenty of salt. And it’s not like it’s on our dime. Might as well go for broke.”

Finral (who had totally _not_ been eavesdropping desperately in the hallway) rushed in frantically. “Whoa! Whoa! Wait, wait! Are you trying to kill us? Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.”

…Even Asta’s chores weren’t spared from their meddling. 

“Okay, now be careful, but if you fall, no worries, okay? I got you.” 

“Thanks Finral-senpai,” Asta called down cheerfully from the roof as he went to work declogging the gutters.

Zora, just walking past, leaned against an open window and stuck his head out. “What’s this? You on gutter duty, shrimp?”

“Oh, Zora-senpai! Yeah, Yami asked me to take care of it after they overflowed last time it rained, and Finral’s helping me.”

“Oh? Is that so?” Zora looked down at Finral with a long, even gaze before suddenly hopping out the window himself. “Then, I’d better join in too. Two hands are better than one, right?” His next words were directed at Finral. “Be sure to watch over us properly, okay senpai?”

Finral beamed back at him, smile viciously bright. “Oh, don’t worry. If you fall, I’ll be sure to catch you.”

Asta looked between the two of them happily. “You two are really getting along great, huh. I’m glad. I was a bit afraid that your terrible personality would keep you from making friends, Zora.”

The man grabbed him in a playful chokehold and knuckled his head threateningly. “Oi, what do you mean by that, huh? My personality is amazing.”

“Okay, ouch! Give. Give. I take it back! Mercy!”

* * *

“Alright, that’s it. Enough dancing around this shit. If you got a problem with me, just say it to my face.”

The two, Finral and Zora, had run into each other in one of the back halls of the base, exchanged passing glares, and were about to move on when Zora suddenly piped up with this statement. 

Finral crossed his arms and kept his voice placid and calm. “I don’t have a problem with you.”

Zora sneered. “Oh really? Because you seemed so happy during our first meeting. What? Upset your captain let some street trash commoner into your squad, rich boy?”

Finral frowned, taken aback. “What? No? I was just surprised after waking up from not even a _week-long_ coma to suddenly find that we had a new member? Who’d—last I’d seen—belonged to Purple Orca? Of course, I was a little thrown off.”

Zora scoffed and leaned back on his heels, playing up his height so he towered over Finral. “Just like a perfect, untouchable noble, huh. Fine, say whatever you want. It’s no skin off my back. Just know that this commoner isn’t going nowhere.”

“Huh? Look I don’t give a shit about whether you’re a commoner or a noble. I don’t really see myself belonging in either group anyways. I only want you to admit one thing. I am the True Senpai™ of this group.”

“I- What?”

“I’m the senpai. You may be a senpai to Asta or whatever, but I’m _your_ senpai, got it? I have not poured years of my life into this squad making it sure it doesn’t crumble just to have my place usurped by a newcomer because he’s a little bit older than me.”

Zora stared at him blankly for a long moment before dissolving into disbelieving laughter. “You’re all insane,” he cried. And then again in the voice of a man having a slow and terrible realization, “Everyone in this squad is fucking insane.” He shook his head and let out a sound that might have been a groan, sliding a hand through his already unruly hair. “Alright fine,” he said after a moment, fixing Finral with a sly, challenging gaze. “You can be my senpai _but_ that means you have to deal with everything that comes with. The background. The trap magic. And the fact that I know your wallet only has four silver in it.”

Finral frowned, reaching for his wallet. “I do _not_ only have four silver.” He dumped a handful of Clover coins into his palm and began sorting them into piles, counting them.

“Hah,” he looked up, “I have six silver and two copper.”

“Really?” Zora leaned forward. “You sure about that?”

“Of course I’m—” There was a blur of movement and a brief pressure against the palm of his hand. Four silver coins glittered dully back at him when he glanced down. He looked up to see Zora idly flipping the missing ones between his fingers. He crossed his arms. “Very funny.”

The corners of Zora’s mouth twitched up. “Oh, I know. I’m hilarious.” He looked back over at the money. “Huh, cheap change for a noble.”

“That’s because I’m the bastard son born of an illicit affair between a princess and a traveling, exotic male dancer.”

“Huh?!”

“Just kidding. Nah, but I am disowned though, so it’s important that I keep a close eye on my money.” Finral said, flicking some copper coins up in the air with a wicked grin. Zora looked down at his now empty hands and then back again to Finral, appearing—dare he say—mildly impressed for once. 

(Finral was just grateful that he’d actually managed to catch the coins he’d tossed up in the air, rather than miss and have them get scattered across the floor. It would’ve ruined the effect terribly.)

Tucking his money back into his wallet, Finral faced Zora again and stuck out his hand. “I look forward to senpai-ing you.”

Zora rolled his eyes but shook the hand anyway. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You won’t have much to do, I’m afraid. I already know what sort of shenanigans you lot get up too.”

Finral smiled a gleeful, vicious smile. “You say that now, but that’s only because you haven’t seen Charmy during the hunger riots of the Winter-we-do-not-speak-of. It’s said she destroyed an entire city in a single night.”

“…Excuse me?”

“You’ll see. Don’t worry my young kouhai~ I’ll help you navigate all the shit that comes with living here. First lesson. Vanessa keeps a stash of snacks in the corner cabinet of the wine cellar. Don’t take those unless you want to be strung from the ceiling all night.” 

“…Sure??? No, wait! Back up a sec. Hunger riots? The what winter?”

Finral was already walking down the hall, still talking. “Perhaps I should show you Luck’s favorite spots to ambush people first. He almost broke Asta’s arm one time, and he did break Vanessa’s bottle of vintage wine. Oh,” he sighed fondly, “Now that was a night.”

“Ambush spots… What is _wrong_ with all of you?”

And thus the Black Bull’s received a new senpai and kouhai all in one. 

* * *

Omake:

Finral walked into the common room only to see a silver-haired man sitting on the couch drinking tea with Yami. The sudden bout of nausea and dizziness that hit him out of nowhere was not enough to keep Finral from noticing the familiar black cloak draped over the stranger’s shoulders—its embroidered bull head staring proudly back at him. 

“Oh, come on!” he complained, looking at Yami. “Any other secret squad-members you’d like to share? You know I have to fill out insurance paperwork for every person on our payroll right?”

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who says Finral isn’t a gremlin that relishes in the chaos of others so long as it doesn’t affect him is lying to themselves.
> 
> The fic is really a PSA for the Black Bull’s Sane Squad featuring our fantabulous Vanessa, tired boi Finral, the honorary sweet summer child Klaus, and reluctant new member Zora-I’m-done-with-your-shit-Ideale. Anyways, I hope you guys all enjoyed this little meander of thought. Thanks for reading! And in the words of Matthew Mercer, “Don’t forget to love each other.”


End file.
